Dissertation Without Discipline:
Attitudes and Awarenesses
by
Mary Beth Haines, Ph.D.
Discipline is something I've always struggled with, and usually failed at. Then I tried altering some attitudes. Instead of focusing on discipline or scheduling or some sort of structure, I could focus instead on what I wanted most and what was best for me. It dawned on me that this was a focus on loving myself.
I found that I could love myself into getting things done. That meant being kind to myself, helping myself see a bigger picture when necessary to remember what I really wanted. This strategy can work for you, too, if you are willing to keep in mind the following points:
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Get off your own case. We all have times where we waste time, or mess up, or our environment and the universe seem to conspire to keep us from accomplishing our goals. Forgive yourself for this, forgive others and circumstances, let it
go, and move on. None of us needs more fodder for mental self-abuse.
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Drop negative self-talk. I know this sounds the same as above, but it differs slightly. Inner criticism only reinforces unhelpful attitudes, behavior and failure. Whenever you hear any inner criticism, counter it immediately with something that works. Keep this up until you pound in the positive enough to undo the negative.
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Help yourself, don’t force yourself. We always have things to do that we don't like. We are used to "suck it up and just do it." But what if you approached it differently? What if you focused on "How can I help myself do this?" If you need support, get it. If you need to be alone, set up time and enforce it (no cell phone, or other interaction allowed during this time). If you need to vent first, then work, do it that way. If you need a reward after, do that. Whatever will
help, not force.
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Remember that blocks are what happen right before breakthroughs. Blocks bring up so many unhappy emotions, we can get caught up in the emotions and make the blocks bigger than they are. Instead of thinking of a block as a terrible thing, recognize it as a sign of hope. It means the breakthrough is coming soon!
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Remember you have a life, and live it. Make a point of exercising regularly. You'll be able to think better. Take time to spend time with people you care about, like your family and friends. You need the support, and you'll want relationships to come back to when the process is over. Same goes for other parts of your life that matter to you. Completing a dissertation is only a part of living the life you want.
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